The noise was deafening, the air was suffocating, the faces were high - and I was at home.
"We're up nest, ha?"
"We're up next shredding! Damn straight!"
"You good, Kyle?"
I nodded but said nothing. We sat on used speakers in the green room. If it was a more accurate description it would've been called the brown room, but eh, I didn't care much about the room. Or anything else for that matter. The gig was all i could think about, and it terrified me.
"You sure you good?"
"Yeah, man. I feel great. Just... a little anxious..."
"Take a hit of this then." I did. "Better?" I shook my head. "You's a wuss."
"Kyle's good man, don't sweet it. He might be anxious but our boy is ready!"
And I knew that I was, but hearing that from Jules was nice. "Thanks girl." I took a swig of something... vile. Thought about another, but decided against it. Think I'll remain sober for the rest of the night. Or until the show's over at least.
I was super confident meeting up with the band earlier. But now that I've gotten well and truly faded, I started having doubts about my performance. I said as much to my band, they said I was just a stoner and handed me that vile drink I was no longer drinking.
Getting high was a mistake tonight.
"We're finishing off with number three right?" I said, trying to put my mind to the show.
"We are?" Jessie, our drummer, spoke for the first time. "News to me."
Jules smiled knowingly. "She has awoken!"
"You know perfectly well i don't engage in your superficial bullsh-"
"Oh quit it Jess!" Mark nearly knocked over the speaker as he swayed. "Here, lighten up." She took the proffered joint and threw it out the window. "Hey!"
"Kyle? You think we should end with number three?" Jess asked.
"Hah. I don't know." I wiped my hands off my jeans. They were sweaty. "I just. Me and Mark talked about it last night. Seemed fitting, ya know?"
Jessie looked at me for a while before nodding once. Jules shrugged. "If you two think it's an idea, and Jess has no objections, then I'm cool."
Mark shrugged. It was decided. But the lump in my throat only got bigger. "Think I'm gonna go to the bathroom..."
"We're up next! Don't puke out everything!"
I splashed some water on my face, forced some down my gullet. Tried dislodging some snot. Nothing helped. I only felt more anxious, more nervous. Hyping myself up in the mirror also proved fruitless - if anything, it increased my anxiety. Oh boy.
When i was out the band was getting ready. "You sure you ok?" Jules approached me.
"Yeah..." But she saw the truth.
Jules smiled, kissed me. "You'll be fine."
"Yeah."
As we got on stage my heart felt like it was about to jump out my chest and join the thousands of attendants. As we set up our gear I took one long look at them all.
Some were older, most were kids. All were excited. For him. For them. For the show! Kyle strung a few notes and some of them cheered. Yes. Yes! This was it. He looked at them again and started riffing. A section erupted and Kyle grinned. Jules was right. He was more than fine.
"You guys ready?" I shouted into the mic.
"We are Sweet Waffles!" Jess screamed into her mic as she did the usual, one two three, on her drums. "And we are here to rock your night!"
I soon became one with the music, unable to think about anything else. I was put on this world to do one thing and one thing only.
It was amazing.
Thanks for reading! 😗
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This was a 5 minute freewrite hosted by @mariannewest.
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